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 A package for Itachi

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Nelos Lesios
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Male Number of posts : 615
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PostSubject: A package for Itachi   Thu Dec 20, 2007 4:14 am

here is a fan fic i found not made (as in i did not make this fan fiction)

Today was an unusually exciting day in the Akatsuki cave. The sun was shining merrily, only you couldn't really tell in the cave, because, well, it was a cave. The infamous Uchiha Itachi was pacing back and forth in front of the large boulder that blocked the entrance to the cave and kept that pesky sun at bay.
Today was the day... the day that he had been waiting for. The day that the new skateboard he had ordered arrived. But it wasn't just any skateboard, no. It was the type that came with a bar attached to the side that he could fold up to make it into a scooter if he so pleased. Yes, this was the object of his dreams. Never had he lusted after something so much as this.

"What's keeping that postal worker?" Itachi asked himself out loud in a very politically correct manner. "It's supposed to be coming today! If it's late, I'll--"

But whatever Itachi was going to do, no one was ever going to find out, because he was cut off by a knock at the door. Err... boulder. Boulder-door.

Itachi used that crazy strength that it doesn't look like he has to push the boulder out of the way, smile beaming on the inside. Itachi was the master of inner smiles.

"A package for Mr. Uchiha Itachi," stated the man at the door. He was holding a large package and a clipboard. "Sign here," he said, handing Itachi the clipboard. Itachi signed, then handed it back, taking the package instead.

"Wait here for a moment," Itachi said, walking back into the cave, leaving the man standing awkwardly at the Akatsuki's front porch. He quickly found who he was looking for because this was a cave after all, and as much as you might like to think so, caves do not come with different rooms.

"Hey, Itachi, what's that?" asked Kisame.

Itachi ignored Kisame, and addressed Zetsu. "Are you hungry, because the mail just came."

Zetsu frowned. "You know, you don't have to tell me that the mail man is here every time. Just because I eat people sometimes doesn't mean I want to eat them all the time! I eat other things, too, you know!"

Deidara, who was also conveniently right there, rolled his eyes. "Geez, don't get your panties in a bunch, Zetsu. He was just being nice... yeah."

"Yeah, Zetsu," Kisame piped in. "Now you have to eat the mail man, because Itachi was nice enough to tell you he was there."

"But--"

"No buts, Zetsu! Go eat him!" screeched Deidara, who just wanted to see Zetsu eat someone. Actually, that was Kisame's reason, too.

So Kisame jumped up from the rock he was sitting on, and with the help of Deidara dragged Zetsu to where the mail person was still waiting politely. Itachi waited until he heard a scream to open his package.

As soon as the item hit them light... or... lack there of, Itachi lifted it into the air. If there had have been light, it would have gleamed magnificently, but Itachi was satisfied imagining the gleam. The bottom was black with, you guessed it, an Uchiha fan on it. "Sooo cool," whispered Itachi, not wanting to draw attention to himself. He put it on the ground and flipped up the handle, making it into a SCOOTER. He was about to test it out, and scooter around, when Kisame and Deidara re-entered with a grumpy looking Zetsu. He hurried to put his skateboard with optional scooter away before they could see. No matter how cool it was, he couldn't let any of the other Akatsuki see, that would be too embarrassing. Except for maybe Sasori, because he was good at keeping secrets. Like the one about how Itachi had been attracted to Deidara before he found out that he was a guy. EWW.

Itachi wasn't fast enough in hiding his awesome kicking rad new toy, though, and Kisame caught a glance of Itachi hiding it in his cloak. "What's that!" asked Kisame, pointing at where he had seen the mysterious object disappear.

"That's my stomach, Kisame," stated Itachi, wanting nothing more than for Kisame and the other stupid-heads to leave him alone.

"Geez, Kisame, and Sasori says I'm dumb... yeah," said Deidara.

"No, I saw him put something in his cloak!" Kisame said in his own defense.

"So Itachi's trying to hide something?" asked Zetsu, wanting in on the conversation.

"No! I'm hiding nothing," said Itachi, glaring at them all with Sharingan-ified eyes. "Now, leave. Me. Alone."

"Yes sir," said Kisame and Zetsu, not wanting to incur the wrath of the Uchiha.

"Phhft, fine, I was going to go bother Sasori anyhow... yeah. Let's go, Kisame," said Deidara, trying to hide how afraid he was. He turned and started walking over to where Sasori was, because of course, Sasori was in plain view because they are in a cave. Kisame followed, and so did Zetsu, even though Zetsu wasn't invited. He has to go places uninvited, otherwise he would never go anywhere. Except to the door where he has to eat a mail person.

As soon as they were over by the puppet master, Itachi whipped his skateboard out from under his cloak and started looking for a nice, shadowy place to put it. He found a few shadowy places, but he had used them all to hide things in before, and Kisame and Deidara had found them easily. He looked behind the statue of hands and a head that they get to stand on when extracting demons, but decided that that was to obvious a hiding spot. Suddenly he was hit by a stroke of genius and took a scroll out from his cloak. He unrolled it and put his hand down in a dramatic fashion and a large safe appeared, surrounded in smoke.

"Thirty-two, seventeen, fourty-four," Itachi whispered to himself, moving the twisty thing to the corresponding numbers, because that's how you unlock a combination lock. Of course. He kissed his skateboard before stashing it in the safe along with some of his other worldly possessions. ...Okay, it was just chocolate coffee beans and porno mags.

He chuckled at his own ingenuity. They could never get it in here! He slammed the door to the safe and clapped his hands together a few times. Now to tell Sasori about his amazing new scooter-skateboard. And so he frolicked off, certain that his prized possession was perfectly safe in his ultimate-defense safe.

The moment he was telling his story to Sasori, Kisame, Deidara and Zetsu poked their scummy little heads out.

"Aww, he put it in there. Now we'll never know what it was..." whined Zetsu.

"Stop being such a baby, Zetsu... yeah," said Deidara, who was studying the lock.

"I'LL OPEN IT!" yelled Kisame, whipping out his Samehada. "You just watch!"

"What are you going to--" Whack whack whack.

"Um... Kisame... I don't think that's helping." said Zetsu, backing off a bit. Whack whack.

"Yeah it is! This is the best idea we've got!" announced Kisame, whacking at the safe even harder with his sword.

"Stop it, Kisame, I have a different idea... yeah," said Deidara, still studying the lock, only now from a bit of a distance.

"No! Whack. This is whack a great whack idea! Whack It's whack working, I can whack see a whack dent!" insisted Kisame.

"Back off for a minute!" yelled Deidara, jumping on Kisame's back and throwing him off balance, effectively stopping Kisame's whacking. He fell to the ground and Deidara stood up on his back. "Now, watch the artist at work... yeah!"

Deidara took out some clay from somewhere in his cloak and stuck it around the spinny part of the safe that I still don't know the name of. The combination part. He took a few steps back and put some clay in the palm of his hand, the mouth eating it. It was spit out a moment later in the shape of a bird.

"Stand back, Kisame!" he said as the clay bird in his hand fluttered towards the lock and the other mass of explosive clay. Zetsu and Kisame scurried behind the blonde who was laughing haughtily over his soon-to-be triumph over the safe. "Hah! No safe of Uchiha Itachi's can defeat m--"

Deidara was cut off by the explosion, fragments of the safe going every which way, bouncing off of the walls. "Oops, I guess the explosion was a bit too big... yeah. Oh well, we can always just ask Itachi what he got, right? ...right? ...Kisame...?"

There was no answer from Kisame or Zetsu, so Deidara turned around, only to be faced with one Uchiha, radiating blood-lust.

Deidara laughed nervously. "Uh, I'm sorry, it was an accident! We didn't mean to... yeah! I--- Oh s***." There was a crumbling sound and the roof of the cave started to collapse. Itachi took out a rope and tied it around Deidara, securing him to a large rock, before running out of the cave for cover. "Hey! You guys can't leave me here! Let me out... yeah! SOMEBODY HELP ME."

But nobody heard him, and nobody cared. Oh well. They just stood outside, looking at the ruins of their headquarters.

"I guess we're going to need a new headquarters now," said Zetsu nervously, because, of course, it was partially his fault.

Sasori cracked his neck, his arms full of the puppet he had been tending to. "Oh well, sitting on rocks was really starting to hurt my butt."

And so everyone chuckled merrily and strolled of into the sunset, ignoring Deidara dragging his mooshed body from the rubble.
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OrochimaruDeidara
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PostSubject: Re: A package for Itachi   Fri Feb 01, 2008 9:00 pm

ACK!!!! My poor DeiDei!!!! Sad

but it was funny LOL!!!!
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Luna 928
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PostSubject: Re: A package for Itachi   Wed Feb 20, 2008 5:15 pm

Good I always hoped that Itachi would be a sk8ter guy Very Happy Sharingan
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Obito Uchiha
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PostSubject: Re: A package for Itachi   Tue Mar 04, 2008 3:25 pm

lol, a scoot-board
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Luna 928
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PostSubject: Re: A package for Itachi   Mon Mar 17, 2008 2:28 pm

What ever
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painxkonan
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PostSubject: Re: A package for Itachi   Tue Dec 23, 2008 7:17 pm

cool.
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Akatsuki_Wolf
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PostSubject: Re: A package for Itachi   Wed Dec 24, 2008 12:01 am

lol XD poor dei-dei
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ArtIsABang75
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PostSubject: Re: A package for Itachi   Sun Jan 04, 2009 1:05 pm

poor sasori his @$$ hurts
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Julian_Uchiha
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PostSubject: Re: A package for Itachi   Sun Jan 04, 2009 2:08 pm

poor postman....
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Akatsuki_Wolf
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PostSubject: Re: A package for Itachi   Sun Jan 04, 2009 3:28 pm

how can sasori's @$$ hurt? he said he has no feeling and he can't feel anything.

PS:does sasori have a brain? cuz he said he only has a heart.
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ArtIsABang75
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PostSubject: Re: A package for Itachi   Fri Jan 30, 2009 7:46 pm

don't insult sasori
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Julian_Uchiha
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PostSubject: Re: A package for Itachi   Mon Feb 23, 2009 1:31 pm

well...it isn'T said that that thing in his chest is a heart, it was said that it was HIM well under HIM I understand a brain too
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Akatsuki_Wolf
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PostSubject: Re: A package for Itachi   Mon Feb 23, 2009 5:05 pm

watt???? Question
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Julian_Uchiha
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PostSubject: Re: A package for Itachi   Tue Feb 24, 2009 12:23 pm

well...I dunno what's in the manga, but I've seen the anime and they said it wasn't his heart, they said it was Sasori
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Akatsuki_Wolf
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PostSubject: Re: A package for Itachi   Tue Feb 24, 2009 4:54 pm

no...remember they said that is was his heart and he got stabbed everywhere but he didn't die until they got that heart thing.
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Julian_Uchiha
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PostSubject: Re: A package for Itachi   Wed Feb 25, 2009 9:26 am

well, if you say so, it must be true
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PostSubject: Re: A package for Itachi   Wed Feb 25, 2009 3:11 pm

and when chiyo got the fake sasori puppet it didn't have the heart thing in it!!
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ArtIsABang75
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PostSubject: Re: A package for Itachi   Fri Mar 06, 2009 5:13 pm

sasori still rocks
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PostSubject: Re: A package for Itachi   Mon Mar 30, 2009 7:42 pm

yep
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ArtIsABang75
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PostSubject: Re: A package for Itachi   Tue Mar 31, 2009 6:46 pm

why doesn't nelos make it
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A package for Itachi
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